“Tis The Season To Be Not so Jolly.”

It’s been years since I’ve been in the festive mood. And this year is no different. I’ve struggled to muster up excitement. I’ve tried everything… mainly music (that usually sorts me right out).

I think the main reason this year is because I was put on to work. But I’ve also noticed for the past couple of years, with the exception of last year, I’ve either been in hospital, too ill to celebrate or had no money.

This time of the year always makes me think about the excitement I used to have when I was younger even up to my mid teenage years.

My mum always made it a point to cook up a storm and we would hand out present to all our neighbours… music would be blasting Christmas morning and presents would be under the tree. Christmas time was so magical and I had so much fun with family and friends.

When you’re a child, Christmas and the whole festive season is so much more fun and less stress.

For me, the novelty has definitely worn off. I know it’s because I don’t plan. And I’ve grown up. I’m thinking about the constantly cost or where I would want to spend and split my time. There’s a lot of logistics that go into it.

To be honest it’s all quite exhausting.

I’ve said to myself that, by next Christmas, I would have had a solid plan on what I’m doing and how I will spend my time and embrace the festivities next time around. I have not given it a chance this year and that is because of personal choices I made that I now regret. But it’s a learning experience.

So I’m saying to myself: Christmas 2020 will be my best one yet!