For the last three years, I’ve found that I randomly cut my hair on a whim and this time is no different.
Actually, I take it back this time is different because, I definitely had a “Britney” moment.
I’m a very indecisive person when it comes to my hair, those that know me can testify to that. I’ve been torn between growing my hair and shaving it into a low cut and or putting braids back in.
In 2018 I cut my hair and styled it and gave off butch lesbian vibes but I loved the look (see below).
But the problem was, I missed my braids. For the longest time people kept telling me that I couldn’t do braids because my hair was too short. I was so frustrated I did something I vowed I’d never do… I relaxed my hair!
I was natural at this point but thought nevermind. BIG MISTAKE! It gave the length I needed for the braids but it thinned my hair out and damaged my hair line.
Fast forward to 2020 and I’m back to my natural state but I still feel like it’s not how I want it. I loved my afro don’t get me wrong, I just had days where I wished it was longer and fuller.
I decided to ditch wearing wigs before the lockdown and packed away my favourite black and green ombre hair. I started have more days were I’d wear my “out” and “natural” or in my signature headscarfs.
I have a massive hate relationship with my hair and the decision to cut it stems from that. My hair growth was going well but I just felt didn’t feel great about the rest of me in general so I decided that cutting all of my hair off when help…
In this lockdown that was no easy feat considering I couldn’t go to the barbers so I had to improvise. A pair of scissors, hair removal cream (I googled it’s safe to use on hair) and a razor got me from this …
To this…
Full transparency I cried a bit when I’d finished and saw the hair on my bathroom floor. I was thinking what the hell have I done, people are gunna silently just my head shape, see the lumps, bumps and scars from my brain operation 11 years ago. But then I remembered I don’t care it’s part of who I am, a survivor. It’s done now and I’m going to embrace it. I’m looking at it as a fresh start and clean canvas for new hair growth. And hopefully everything else in my life will follow.
That said I might cut my hair again in a few months… who knows!
Peace & Love ✌❤
Becky
